So I’ve had carpal tunnel syndrome for years in left and right wrists, had symptoms etc but it finally got really bad late last year I guess on the right. I was in so much pain that I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night, no joke here, no exaggeration, I had to find funky sleeping positions just to be able to get a couple to maybe a few hours sleep because of the pain and sometimes I wouldn’t sleep at all.
It’s only been not quite a month since I found out my wife was cheating on me and that she was engaged to another man but I miss her and I miss my life with her. I think maybe it’s I miss the future; I’m thinking about what would or could have been as I never thought of this ever happening. This totally blindsided me honestly, I did not expect this at all, I think I might still be in shock.
Fuck Christmas this year!
I’m not doing Christmas this year, I sure as hell don’t feel like it, no joy in my holidays just depression.
Nothing to celebrate. Kids are grown up, don’t they care either, I’m sure they get it. Makes things easier I think, no mess, fuss, none of that crap. Christmas isn’t the same anymore anyway, it’s now all about spending money, it’s not about Jesus and Religion anymore and actually giving, it’s all about getting.
Fuck it. Merry Christmas!
Bah Humbug!
So today is Thanksgiving and I’ve not got a fucking thing to be thankful for.
Honestly I’m kinda pissed that I even woke up today, but I’m here, so I have to do this.
When your wife cheats on you and gets engaged to another man it kind of takes the joy out of things and doesn’t leave much to be thankful for!?
Yeah making food, but nothing I want. Wife and kids (well they’re adults now, but I still call them kids) live in the house and were supposed to put stuff on grocery list for Thanksgiving dinner and me being the chef am going to make it of course. I went shopping, got the stuff, I didn’t put anything on the list at all, I don’t want anything, I don’t have much of an appetite really, haven’t been eating much.
Anyway yeah making Thanksgiving dinner, fun-fun but nothing to be thankful for.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Guess the title could also be PTSD Ended My Life and Ruined My Marriage, that would work as well, sure feels that way to me.
Where do I begin?
What’s the point of it all?
I don’t get it, life? We’re here for just a short time and really do nothing at all. It’s just a blink and you’ll miss it amount of time really in the scale of universal time, just an insignificant blip truly.
I need a fucking drink!
I want a fucking drink!
A nice Jack Daniel’s and Coke over a little ice sounds good right now.
I haven’t had a drink since 2001.
A drink wouldn’t be a good thing for me right now.