I can’t believe that in the vastness of the universe that we’re the only intelligent life, there has to be more out there, if not it’s just really sad. I hope before I die that I get to find the answer to that but I don’t think I will really.
(picture is Pazuzu from Exorcist)
At one point in my life I believed in God and all that, I was raised Italian Catholic, went to Catholic school and went to church every week and sometimes more than that because of school. It was long point in my life really, until my Grandma died when I was about 12 yrs old, so for over a decade I was a good little Catholic but then she was taken from me and lots of other crap happened when she died.
What’s the point of all the stuff we buy and have? There’s lots of stuff I see that I’m like ‘wow, I want that, it’s cool, I need it’ but I really don’t. I’ve got lots of stuff and I don’t need it, it’s not like I can take it with me when I die anyway, so why have it? I guess it’s too make our lives better in some way, but does it really? Maybe to make our lives happier or just bearable as in reality our lives suck, yes that’s everyone’s life I think, or maybe it’s just me?!
I haven’t been writing much here or anywhere really for a long time as I’m dealing with a lot of bad shit in my life and battling depression I guess you could say, not that anyone really gives a shit really about what I have to say so it probably doesn’t really matter if I write or not, no one would miss me I’m sure…
I’ve been having weird dreams lately when I eventually get to sleep. Always have issues sleeping, never sleep through the night, only get a couple to a few hours of sleep per night but lately I’ve been dreaming about dead people. Last night both my mom and dad were in my dream, and they’re dead. I woke up in like a haze when my alarm went off at 4:30am like almost still in the dream and it was fresh in my mind but fading. I don’t know, it was just weird, I’ve been having weird dreams lately and most of them have dead people in them and people I used to know.